I DON'T DO AWARDS

You might have noticed that there is a distinct lack of style about this blog. I don't do challenges and I gave up on awards because I was spending so much time sorting out the technical hoo ha that I was wearing myself out.

Regular readers are aware that I have fibromyalgia. I go on about it enough but maybe I haven't made clear that it affects different people in different ways. My memory is seriously affected which means that I have to constantly relearn stuff. It is difficult to do a post without struggling and I write things down to assist myself. Would help if I could read my own writing!

I was blogging to motivate myself to craft but it was the crafting that really mattered so I tried to limit the blogging. Edna if you are reading this you will know what I mean.

I saw this award on Kirsty Wiseman's blog and thought "Now that's an award I wouldn't mind getting."

Julia gave it to me.

WOW

All I can say is be careful what you wish for.

This is an award for writing which is being considered for the Nobel Prize for Literature and displays a mature understanding of the problems which beset the modern world-such as where can I buy that stamp I've just seen on somebodies desk at the back of that blurry photograph?

Here are the rules as copied and pasted into a separate document so that I could keep referring to them. I haven't printed them out -I might waste precious ink.

1 Express gratitude to the blogger who gave it to you.

Thank you Julia-you have made my day/ week/ year and saved me from having to do any ironing again(I don't mean ever-just today-sadly). If you don't know who Julia is where on earth have you been for the last year, on a space station or a round the world cruise?( OK Kathy we know after Friday morning that you have been on a round the world cruise and I'm jealous) Get over to The Stamping Ground and go down on your knees now before Julia comes round and makes you tidy your desk.

Hells teeth thought I'd never get back to black text then. (Julia did blue so just had to compete)

2 Display the picture on your blog proudly

Here we go again (and I managed to get the same orange).

Easy Peasy-think I've saved it in about three locations 'cos I couldn't find it after I'd saved it the first time-then discovered I could just copy and paste. Childsplay this. (That comment is for Spyder who thinks I have a tidy organised computer)

3Be nice and provide a link to the person who gave it to you.

www.stamping-ground.blogspot.com

4 Tell at least six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth or switch it around and tell at least six outrageous truths and at least one outrageous lie.

Here goes nothing.

1.I get up at half past five every morning full of the joys of spring and clean my house from top to bottom, prepare the evening meal and put in a load of washing before taking my DH breakfast in bed at seven o'clock. I have a shower and apply full make up and varnish my perfect nails, checking that my legs are smooth and hair free before slipping into my stockings and putting on my six inch stillettos. Kim Cattrall gives me her cast offs which fit me perfectly. We met when she was a friend of my cousin who now lives in Canada.

Pick that man up and give him the smelling salts. Then I go online and write my daily posting before turning to my clean, white, pristine desk top and getting out my crafting tools to begin the first of my many cards of the day.

2.Julia and I have been asked by the new coalition government to draft a law which states that every person who is able must produce one craft item a week. Those who are unable to craft must present themselves at their nearest craft class where they will be shown the correct way to cut a piece of paper.

3. I have swum naked in the North Sea from a beach near Bridlington and in the Atlantic from a beach in South West Ireland and in a Scottish Loch.

4.I have been commissioned by Mills and Boon to write a novel which will tell the story of a card maker and scrapbooker who falls in love with a millionaire who promises her he will buy her anything her heart desires if she will only yield to him but she refuses him and goes off with a handsome but penniless motorcyclist who dreams of being a world champion and spends all his money on spare parts.

5Whenever I am asked to make a card for a man I shout "Oh goody goody gumdrops-I love doing man cards-can't get enough of 'em" then I pirouette three times and rush to my craft room where I quickly produce ten fabulous creations -each one different from the last one and worthy of a showcase.

6Since I started making cards about seventeen years ago I have never ever ever bought one.

7This blog posting has only taken me five minutes 'cos I have a certificate in speed tying and used to be a court stenographer.

5Nominate seven creative writers who might be into doing this.

6Post links to the seven blogs you nominate and let the owners of those blogs know.

This is the truth-up to here I was doing ok. Now I'm struggling-thinks-I could give it to Julie Hickey but she is so busy-writing, designing, demonstrating. She even makes her husband cook for her. He does. I could give it to Kirsty Wiseman but she's already got it.

I would like to give it to Spyder if she will forgive me for not collecting the award she once gave me. I love the way she makes me feel I'm in that studio with her. Get over and join her. She might do a little drawing for you. Her husband looks cuddly too. OK I'll keep my hands off-one's enough for me.

My other choice is Sharon aka the sadly missed funky fairy who created the best paper collection for making boys cards I've ever seen-so good that my nephew has persuaded my sister to decorate his bedroom using those colours. She is an incredibly talented crafter who has just taken up making clothes for the lovely Chloe. Her blog overflows with energy.

There are probably loads of you out there who deserve this award and would do it justice but I'm handing over now so over and out.

Can I be excused please Miss Queen Julia?

Just in case you didn't follow my choices are

1 Spyder at www.spyder-spyderscorner.blogspot.com

2Simply Shaz at http://theramblingsofafairy.blogspot.com

Amended to add:-

3 Kath at Kath-allthatglitter.blogspot.com

Hope you don't mind me adding you as an afterthought Kath but I was worn out after all that effort at telling the truth. Anyone who doesn't know who Kath is must be living in another dimension-that'd be real life as opposed to crafting heaven then I suppose. Go on Kath -Buddy can help you with any awkward bits.